my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Monday, February 15, 2010

the good things

I walked away from the computer and thought..."you whinny didn't say one good thing." So, here are the good things. I know I have good things. In fact I have a lot of good things. I have an amazing husband. Yes, he is struggling with this whole thing. Yes, our lives together have changed with the loss of our son. Yes, we are still madly in love. Yes, he is amazing. I serve a God that will never leave me. In fact in these last six weeks I feel like He has picked me up and is carrying me. He truly has held me through all of this. I could not even begin to be surviving it without Him. I have a wonderful group of friends online and in person who love and care enough about me to ask, "How are you?" And you know what? They do care. They only ask because they care. I have a wonderful job where I get to use my heart for ministry. I have a part time job where I get to work with kids and an amazing group of woman and parents. I have started a journey of loss and grief that has brought me in contact with amazing people I would not have meet. I have learned things about myself that I didn't know where there. I have seen the face of death and now know how precious life truly is. I am a mother. I have to keep reminding myself of that. It still doesn't feel true. It still feels like a dream. I have wanted that more than anything and I got my dream. I just didn't get it in the way I had hoped. But, losing my first born will change the way I parent the rest. I have a lot of good. But, my heart hurts. I need to focus on those good things once in a while. sorry...I will try to remember that more often!


Terra said...

That is so true Trisha! Losing one child really will change how you do and view childrearing [in a good way!] You'll realize the "little" things that people make such a big deal of, are really NOT that important in the end! :)

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