my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Thursday, February 11, 2010

happily ever after


I used to believe that you got pregnant and nine months later you had a baby. I don't believe that anymore. Today I was driving and thinking about being at Disney. When you are at Disney it is like you have entered a different world. For 10 of the 15 years I lived in Daytona I had an annual pass to Disney. I can say I have been there 100's of times. Every time it is still a magical place. You go to Disney and you escape the real world. I have always loved Disney. Ken and I would go over sometimes just stay the night and go into the park to eat lunch. We would just feel like we needed a break from real life. Disney is a real life fairy tale. I think I need a Disney fix now. I want to go back to that happy little belief that you get pregnant and nine months later you get to have a baby. Guess what? Not everyone does!!! I HATE IT! I hate that my fairy tale has been shattered. I hate that my dreams of a child here now are over. My happily ever after is gone. I know I can have other kids, but I wanted THIS baby. I want Trent. I want his life with me. But, I don't get that dream anymore. I have a new reality.

1 comments:

Terra said...

Innocence lost through such circumstances is the hardest thing, I think, to ever have to endure on this earth.

Continued prayers, hugs, love and *walking beside you for support on this journey*

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