my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

4 months

Happy 4 month birthday baby boy!!!

Mommy survived the surviving the week.

He came too early but, this week still holds the promise of his due date. I wish so much it was different.

I have found joy this week. Ken and I are shopping for new furniture for our new home!! I LOVE shopping!!! We have bought a new mattress, new dishes, and of course I bought myself an early mother's day gift...a beautiful (way too expensive) Coach bag. I love shopping and it brings me great joy.

Today I shared his story with more people than I had in a long time. And, the funny thing is I wasn't trying to ... it just kept happening. It was like God kept opening doors for me to share his beautiful story.

I have stopped asking "why me" I will be content with the life God has handed me. It is not an easy one. But, I know he picked me for this. He picked my son. He had it planned before I even knew Ken. I held onto Him more in these last four months than I have in my whole life. I am trying to figure out how to live in this new life. I will honor my son every way I can.

I will love him for long as I'm living...his mommy I'll be!


lis said...

4 months is such a long time and such a short time all at so glad you are finding some solace and peace and fun this week...
thinking of you...

Jill said...

Happy 4 months to Trenton!

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