my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Thursday, May 6, 2010

...

i am falling apart today...

i have tried so hard to put on the happy face...

but, oh i want him back so much...

i read this today on a friends facebook...

"...The moment that a mother finds out that her child has died is one that she will never forget. Time stood still, my heart stopped beating, and a big part of me died with him. No words can describe the feelings of looking down at your baby and seeing a sleeping angel. Even though you don't want to remember that day y...ou never want to forget. Every moment, every detail, every tear is etched in your heart forever..."

it is true that part of me died with him that day...

5 comments:

lis said...

im so sorry that you are having a rough day...know that i have been there too, and still am there sometimes.

bir said...

Misery loves company, and I'm falling apart today too. Big time. Sooky lala style. I want my son back too, so much that it hurts. I get where you're coming from. Wish we could go hang out and blah out our wants and needs over a coffee.
Hoping that tomorrow is better for you. And for me. ♥

klarsen said...

So sorry, Trisha. Praying for you, for peace, xxx

Curls O Fred said...

It's so difficult some days. Big (((hugs))) for you.

lis said...

no, the eggs weren't retrieved yet. i just yesterday began the injection process to stimulate my follicles to grow which is the first step (for me, different people have different protocols and some take birth control or lupron first)

after my follicles, which hold the eggs, get to a certain size, then they will be aspirated. some follicles will have good, mature eggs in them and some won't. it's kind of a crapshoot. we had 11 follicles last time and only 5 mature eggs.

after the retrieval, the eggs and sperm are placed together in a petri dish. for some, this is when a single sperm is injected into a single egg (ICSI)and we hope for fertilization.

after fertilization, my clinic waits 3 days and tehn does the embryo transfer. some clinics was 2, some 3, some 5 days.

so egg retreival is probably a week or so away :)
thanks for asking! hope the IVF info in a nutshell helps you!

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