my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Saturday, May 8, 2010

due date

We have arrived...the night before his due date.

Oh, what I would give to be having contractions right now.

What I would give to know he was on his way.

What I would give to know I would have my whole life with him in my arms.

But, my reality is the contractions already came...for 21 hours on Jan 4 and 5.
He has already been here. His tiny precious life is already over. My arms will never feel the weight of him again.

It is funny that a due date can hold so much emotion...but, when they do those ultrasounds and give you that date all of a sudden your whole life revolves around it. We thought how perfect that he would come in May...our lease was up on our apartment and we could finally move into a house. Ken would be done teaching at the end of the month and spend the whole summer helping me. I would be done being pregnant before the heat of West Texas really set in...and most importantly we would have a baby boy to raise.

I will always carry him in my heart. I will always love him. I hope that next time we get pregnant I can make it to the due date.

4 comments:

michelle hendrix-swords said...

better yet, let's pray that next time you get pregnant you not only make it to the due date, but come home with a healthy baby! happy mother's day! i know it is bittersweet. saying a prayer for you. *HUGS*

littleharves said...

sweetheart i hope that you get through today and tomorrow quickly. i know that it may seem like a strange thing to say, but as i sit here on mothers day in australia, all i keep thinking is hurry up and be over with so i can get back to my new normal. i hope you feel loved xxx anne

myinfertilitywoes said...

(((hugs))) to you especially today!

klarsen said...

Happy Mother's Day, Trisha. Remembering sweet Trent with you and praying for your heart. xxx Lots of love, Katy

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