my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Thursday, May 20, 2010

okay

I know so often it is much easier to be sad than to be happy.

But, there are moments of happiness in this new, screwed up life of mine.



We had company over to our new house on Tuesday night. My wonderful husband caught this moment shared between friends. See, I can still throw my head back and smile.

I thank God for that.

I have been up since around 3:30 this morning. Yes, I went to bed a midnight...not much sleep again. But, that is okay.

Okay.

That is my word for today.

I have to smile again. I have to laugh out loud again. And, more than once in a week.

So, for today I will try and be okay.

I will try to look at the world through the glasses of being a mother...not being the woman who lost her precious baby boy.

I will be grateful that I had the chance to hold him.

I will love today, the way He first loved us.

Today I will be okay...

4 comments:

michelle hendrix-swords said...

i'm glad you are okay today. that's a great picture. i'm sorry that you are not sleeping well, but i'm glad you are starting to smile and laugh again. i know it's not easy and it's a decision we each have to make. {HUGS}

Curls O Fred said...

Beautiful picture. It's a good goal to shoot for...being okay. I always feel like people are expecting to hear "great" from me. But the days I'm okay...I feel a little bit of progress.

littleharves said...

such a beautiful photo, it will be a great one to keep looking at to remind you that it is possible, sending lots of love , xxx anne

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

I hope that you find more and more moments of joy.

I have had insomnia as long as I can remember. You have my sympathy and empathy there. Being exhausted and unable to sleep is such a frustrating feeling.

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