my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

6m1d

For the last six months and one day I feel like a soda bottle that is already full to the top...I am full of grief, sorrow, misery, a little hope for the future...and if you shake me even just a little I will explode.

I hate it. I hate that I can't seem to get a handle on my emotions. The littlest things set me off. I was NEVER like this before.

I am trying so very hard.

Today I will try to contain myself.

Today I will try to notice all the things that used to make me smile.

Today I will focus on the good.... I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy, I have an amazing husband, I have a job that I love, I have a wonderful network of people that care and pray for me, I have a family that lets me just call and cry when I need to.

We live in a broken world....but for today I will try to see only the parts that have been taped back together

1 comments:

tasivfer said...

I'm sorry I haven't commented the past couple days. It's just so hard - I know what a hard time you're having and I went through all this just 3 weeks ago myself. Which makes me feel even more terrible for not saying anything - you need people who are right now. I care, but I don't know what to say. I care, and I'm crying for you and your boy. ((HUGS))

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