Thursday, August 19, 2010
August 19th ... a day to remember. I know that all of us that have suffered the loss of a child remember every single day. The people who love us remember. The people who care about us remember. And, I love that. But, most days I am the only one to say his sweet name. I will not be sad if you mention him. I may cry...but, to know you thought of him or me or Ken makes my heart heal a little more.
My sweet baby boy, mommy misses you so very much. I know you are in a much better place than me. I can't wait to get there and join you. Today I want you in my arms. Today I don't even want to know about August 19th. Today I wish you were next to me right now cooing or even crying. I wish I was seeing you smile for the first time. I wish I were charting your milestones. I wish I was doing tons of laundry for you from all the spit up. I wish you were here. My heart will never be complete again. I will always love you. I will always remember you. But, today I hope for more joy in the future. I hope for a little brother or sister for you. I hope that my heart doesn't hurt so much every day. Today I hope I can shed some of the weight of grief that follows me every where I go. I miss you sweetie.