In his new world without my son there are so many things that trigger the memories and take me right back to that moment...
I was very worried about being back in an airport. I did fine. I just kept telling myself that it was just an airport. I survived.
It is hard to keep going forward....but I am.
As I was in the airport this morning I kept wondering what it would be like if we never conceived him, if we never knew him, if the pain never was. I believe that if Trent was never born I would have spent my whole life searching for him. I would have looked into the faces of children and searched for him. I would have known I was missing him. The thing about being a mom is that your kids complete you. If he never was I would be incomplete. If he never was I would not know love so great. I would not trade knowing that sweet boy for all this heart ache. He completed me. I will miss him all my days. But, I have seen him, held him, loved him. And, that makes me complete. If he and never been I would be incomplete.
I love my Trent with all that I have.
And, the next time I see him I never have to say goodbye.