my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Monday, September 6, 2010

Bed

It is 12:42 in the afternoon and I am in Bed...still. Most days I am up and making coffee by 7:30. I have a pretty normal routine;make coffee, let the dogs out, shower, dress, have a little breakfast and then off to work. But, on days like today when I wake up and the grief is all consuming...my bed feels safer than the world. If I just stay here I don't have to face all the reminders that he is not here. If I just stay in bed I don't have to try to live up to every ones expectations. I don't have to be super woman. I don't have to be strong and hold back my tears. I don't have to be rational. I don't have to put on a smile. If I just lay in bed I can cry as Long as I want. I can let my Hair stay a mess. I can not brush my teeth. And, most of all I can dream of all hay could have been.

5 comments:

Ethansmommy said...

Oh Trisha,

I can feel the pain in your words, reaching out to say I understand completely and I also have those days. Hugs! Ami

Melissa said...

Hope this day passes quickly, but know that it's ok to feel like this.

Danae said...

It's okay to have days like today. It's okay to be sad. We can't always be strong, we can't always put on the smile, and we can't always fulfill everyone's expectations.

Feel whatever it is that you feel, embrace it, and know that you have friends here for you to embrace you, hug you, think peaceful thoughts for you, and to hold you up.

Thinking of you on this difficult day, and hoping tomorrow is a better one. Sending you lots of love and lots of hugs, today...and everyday!

Courtney said...

I do this. I can't even get out of bed. I just stay there and do the same thing, think about my sweet boys and all that could have been with them.

I also find that I curse the world for being so incredibly unfair =*(

Sending you big *hugs* my friend.

Katie said...

Here from LFCA.

I am so very sorry to hear of all that you've lost. There are no words.

I will be thinking of you and your babies.

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