my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Sunday, September 5, 2010

eight months

My sweet Trent,

I cried for you today. My heart aches for you to be here with me. I want to hold you one more time. I want to kiss that beautiful little face. You were my heart and joy. I didn't want to get out of bed today. Right after you died I thought I would never be able to get out of a bed. I am trying to live without you. It seems so hard! Today as I was out and about I saw so many pregnant woman. I wanted so bad to be back in those moments where you were with me. Daddy and I ate at Cracker Barell today...your favorite place when mommy was pregnant with you. You craved it!! Daddy and I would sit at the table and read the pregnancy journal every Saturday morning. We would talk about how much you were growing inside of me. We would dream about what you would look like. We would laugh over all the things daddy would teach you to do to annoy Mommy. We always read all about what you were doing in my tummy that week. Mommy always read ahead to see what was coming next. I miss those days my precious angel. As we sat at Cracker Barell today all I could think was how much better it would be if you were sitting in your car seat next to us. I wish I was feeding you baby food like the lady next to us was doing with her little one. I drove around and thought of all the things you should be doing right now. We should be celebrating your four month birthday instead of your eight month angelversary. I miss you so very much.

Love always,



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