my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Friday, September 3, 2010

emotions

This week has been such a wave of emotions. I mean I started the week pregnant and ended not pregnant. That is a lot of emotion in one weeks time. But, I am doing pretty good. Really. I felt from the beginning something wasn't right. Tuesday they told me this one wasn't the one. I didn't "pass" "it" (don't you love the medical terms) until yesterday. I woke up covered in blood, awful cramps, and dreams gone again. But, this is nothing like giving birth to a live child and watching them take their last breath in your arms.

There are so many woman getting pregnant around me. I am thrilled for all of them. I am beyond excited to meet all these little ones! Yes, I am jealous that my body can't figure this whole "carry a baby to 40 week" thing out.

But, I will have a baby one day. A baby that comes home from the hospital in a car seat not an urn. I will be a mommy to a living child.

2 comments:

Ethansmommy said...

Yes you will! I too have experienced an early miscarriage @ 6 weeks. This was before having Ethan, you are right there is no comparison. I am glad you are doing ok. You will have your rainbow baby someday and so will we :) Big Bloggy Hug!

klarsen said...

I am so sorry, Trisha. You are in my prayers. xoxo

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