my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

81 lbs lighter

We all lie about our weight right? Well, maybe it is just be.

The first time Ken was going to take me up in his plane he needed to know my weight. Weight and balance is pretty important in a smaller plane...I lied and told him 220. 220?!? Are you serious I had not been 220 since high school. But, it sounded like a better number than the 312 pounds I really was.

So, here I am today...weighing in at less than I can EVER remember weighing in my adult life...and I am going to give the dirty details of who I more it is.

I started this journey on April 1st weighing in at a whopping 325 lbs. How did I let myself get that far? How did I not want to just slit my wrists? The truth is my weight has been one of the most painful things I deal with. Food is an addiction for me. I eat when I am sad, happy, stressed, bored, or just because something looks good. I am an addict. I could blame my heavy weight on my PCOS, my genes, whatever...but, the truth is I have eaten too much and done little or no exercise for most of my adult life. I know the PCOS plays a part in it ... but, still.

I have been on every diet known to man. I have done the grapefruit diet, Atki.ns, Sout/hbeach, Weig.htWatchers (like 8 times), Jenny Craig, Op.tifast (an all liquid diet that was regulated by a doctor), and the saddest part of all is that in April of 2006 I had lap-band surgery. Yes, I was drastic enough to have a device placed inside of me. I lied to myself for months saying I had lost 70 or 80 lbs. I weighed in on surgery day at 318 pounds. In the sixth months that I actually worked at it my lowest weight was around 275. Why? Because I thought the lap-band would do it for me. I thought I didn't really have to work at it. I thought it would be the miracle that I had been searching for my whole life. After that I gave up. I failed at a surgery that thousands of people succeed with. I just decided to stay fat forever. I gained all the weight back and then some. I was up to about 335.

Why now? Why this time? I think because this time I am doing it for me. This time it is not because my dad is bribing me with $10 for every pound I lose. It is not because my mom and I joined weight watchers together. It is not because every single doctor I saw said I needed to lose weight. It is for me.

Enough is enough. It is not fair to myself to be 325 pounds. After I lost Trent I lost 11 pounds in one week. I couldn't eat. I was in such a state of shock. I had no reason to eat. For six months I ate to sustain that little boy and now there was no reason to go on. However, that soon faded and I soon began to eat for comfort. I gained that 11 pounds back plus some. In March Ken and I went on a little vacation. I had no pants that fit that were not maternity pants. I headed to Lane Bryant to try on clothes and soon found out I was a size 26! I have stayed in the 24 section for years. But, 26 made me a little sick to my stomach. We took our vacation and the next week I joined Gold's Gym.

I told Ken, "I am not dieting. I am changing what I eat." I think that was a break through moment for me. I kept thinking that I could not control anything that happened with Trent's death but, I COULD control my weight.

So, for the first 70 pounds I worked out every single day, yes, even on Sunday's. I kept my calorie intake at 1200 a day. I started reading labels and cut out anything with sugar or too many carbs. I switched everything I could to organic. I started only eating the whole grain breads and cereals. I did not deprive myself if I had a craving I would get it and eat one bite. Then I would be done. But, after a while the cravings started to fade. I was in a routine and I was feeling better than I can every remember feeling. As the pounds shed so did my clothes. Nothing fit. I was shopping for 22 and then 20 and now finally 18...and NOT 18W just plain 18 from a normal store like Old Navy. I set a goal for myself to be 250 by the time I flew to Florida on October 1st. I felt like I had hit a plateau and really needed something new.

I started seeing a doctor who does mesoth.erapy. They inject shots into you fattest areas and the shots burn the fat away. In the first week I lost 5 inches of belly fat!! I am on my third treatment and am close to 9 inches of belly fat gone. They also do a diet called H.CG. This is the hormone that woman produce while they are pregnant. This hormone along with a 500 calorie diet opens up fat cells and the bad fat goes away. The doctors office charges 327 for the 40 day treatment...and I would have to give myself injections of it everyday. So, I went home and did a little research and found that I could get the same stuff at the health food store. I bought it and 5 days later have lost 9 lbs!! It doesn't even seem possible...but, the scale doesn't lie...and neither am I anymore ;)

So, for 40 days you use the HC.G drops (put them under your tongue) 3 times a day. For the first two days you gorge on anything and everything in sight (I skipped this step , I was too afraid if I started down that path again I would never come back) And, then you follow a strict diet. In one day you can have 2 - 4oz portion of lean meat (white fish, chicken, beef, lobster, shrimp) 2 servings of vegetables ( 2 cups of spinach , 1 whole cucumber , 2 cups of broccoli) 2 servings of fruit (an apple, orange, grapefruit) and 2 Melba Toast a day. Let me say that it scared me a little the first day but, really it is plenty of food and something in the drops makes you not hungry. I am loving it.

The drops I bought are e-HC.G and you can order them on their website They are FDA approved.

Let me say this....if I can do this ... you can. I have been over 300 pounds for 10 years.

And, today I weighed in at 244 !!!!!! When I get on the scales in the morning I can't believe it is me standing on it. I take a picture every day to show Ken. I have a chart hanging in the bathroom with my weight each day.


It doesn't seem possible but there it was in bright red numbers this morning1!!



Jeff and Allison said...

Wow, Trisha. I'm so proud of you!!! As I read I began to feel more and more empowered to fix myself. Of course, I was eating 2 soft tacos from Taco Bell as I was reading so NOT on my meal plan!! :)

I've been paying $100 a month on my gym dues and not going. I wish you lived closer so we could be work out buddies.

I'm so happy to have met you. I know you can continue to encourage me to keep working at it.

Do the HcG drops have any taste? What's the point of binging on the 3rd day? I might try this.

~~ Allison

Trisha said...

we would be great workout buddies! I am in the non-profit sector too!! The binging for the first too days is so that during the first three days your body has enough fuel so that you don't get headaches, moodiness, hunger pangs...and then your body has adjusted

Trisha said...

oh and no they have no taste at all!

Anonymous said...

What a heart-wrenching story, Trisha! Thank you for having the courage to share about Trent. And all glory be to God for your miracle Ian! I just started the e-HCG drops today. I'm sick of lying about my weight too. I'm fortunate to not really have any issues because of my weight; but I know that it will catch up to me sooner or later. The time to do something has arrived. I just need to keep reading stories like yours.
God bless you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I am starting the drops tomorrow and wanted to see what people have to say about them, thus found your story. Thanks for the encouragement! Congtats on your success this far_ keep up the great work!!! Im sooo sorry about your loss!!! I too believe you will be with little Trent again! You should read a book called "My Time In Heaven" by Richard Sigmund It is amazing and will show you where you peecious Trent is... he is in good hands!!! I know it will bless you. It REALLY blessed me. God bless you and your family and especially baby Ian! Jill

Anonymous said...

I also going to start the drops soon, while reserching comments, your story moved me to tears. because you were talking about me. today im going to take control back over my health. I hope you give update on whats happing with you. you are so wonderfully bless to have a loving husban and handson son.

Tracy and James Jaunt said...

I wanted to thank you for your story. I am 26 days in and both my husband and I are doing this together. As of this morning I have gone from 220 pound to 195 and am as amazed as you are each morning I get on the scale. Here is to healthy eating and learning what a portion of food should look like.

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