my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Friday, November 12, 2010

broken arm

I was thinking today how much easier it would be to fix a broken arm than my broken heart. There is no surgery, no cast, no xray to see the damage of my heart. There is no medical help that can be given to insure that it heals. There is nothing. Nothing that makes any sense anyway. I have found that the constant love from my husband has healed in wondrous ways. The love and support we receive from our families is and indescribable form of healing medicine. The prayers, hopes, and dreams that are felt from friends that are new and old help piece this broken heart back together every single day.

Everyday I feel love and support from across the world thanks to the Internet. Everyday I fall asleep next to the man of my dreams. The man who has watched me fall apart and still live. Everyday I get phone calls, texts, emails from family checking on me and my heart.

In so many ways this is all better than a cast could ever be. if the doctors would have put a cast on my heart it would have been hidden away for months as it healed myself. But, I know they would have taken that cast off and my heart would have fallen out in pieces still. My heart has been open for the world to see the pain. And, the world has helped put it back together.

I will never be "over" my sons death. I will never not have the scars from the broken lines. But, I will have a heart that is stronger because of the love I have been shown.

I have a request to share some of the love I receive with a dear friend. I have a friend, who has been TTC for many years. She and her husband tried for 7 years. She has since divorced, had surgery for her endo, and now has a wonderful new man by her side. They are ready to start this TTC journey again. I am scared for her. I know the pain that comes with the hope that is destroyed month after month. Ken and I TTC for four years before Trent. It is not an easy road. Please pray with me for peace. Please pray that she finds the strength. Please pray that there is a new baby in her near future!!


Anonymous said...

i love you :-) K

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