my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Monday, January 17, 2011

19 weeks 3 days

I didn't pay this close attention to the days ticking by while I was pregnant with Trent. I guess I really didn't know there was a need to. But, now it feels like every day I get to keep Ian inside is a truly is. Tomorrow is our big 20 week anatomy scan....but, equally important is the fact that they will be checking my cervical length. The prayer is that my cervix is still long and the stitch is holding. If it has starting funneling or shortening I will be back on bedrest :(

Ken and I went to Babies R Us this weekend. I have already picked out the nursery furniture I would like to buy...they had a deal if you bought two pieces of the collection you got the crib for free. This was an amazing deal...we didn't buy. I wanted to. We talked about it...we wandered around the store thinking we should just dive it. But, we are both so nervous of something going wrong. A nursery full of furniture and a second son in heaven would be too cruel.

I am still praying to make it to our 24 week mark ... again, I don't want to give birth to a 24 week baby...but, I want him to have a chance.

I love my boys so very much...I want the chance to be a mommy to one of them on earth.


Danae said...

Hoping for a good ultrasound and no funneling or shortening!

Not buying the furniture was probably the best you can do right now, no matter how tempting the offer. Because it is horrible to have a nursery full of furniture, and no one to use it, which is the boat we are sailing on right now. We had bought the crib, pack & play, and car seat (which came in the after Bailey died) and had everything all set up. Now, it still sits in the exact same spot, just collecting dust. *sigh*

Sending you my love!

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