my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Today I have been filled with worry and anxiety. I hate days like this! I try to convince myself that it is all good, everything fine, take a deep breath. But, for some reason on days like today the anxiety sets in and I feel like I am right back in the day and weeks after Trent died. I hate feeling out of control and on days like today that is exactly the way I feel. Ian is growing so perfectly and still measuring a week ahead...that all makes me so happy. But, I have been so worried about my blood pressure...I know that doesn't really help lower it to worry so much! I spent the last six months - well really the last year - worried about how my cervix would hold up during pregnancy and now it is my dumb blood pressure. I get headaches and dizzy when it spikes too high...which happened this morning. It makes me sick to my stomach to think my body is failing in some other way...and I can't control it. Deep breaths...I am 24 weeks 4 days...I am praying for at least 10 more weeks with Ian on the inside!


Sherri said...

I'm praying for you and Ian as well!! Try to relax...I know.. easier said than done :)

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