my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Sunday, April 10, 2011

the "norm"

There is not a lot about my pregnancy that is "normal." I mean, yes, I am growing a baby and he is healthy and strong. HE is perfectly normal according to all tests and scans. ME on the other hand...not so much. Every time I see the MFM (maternal fetal medicine doctor) ((high risk ob)) he seems to diagnosis me with some new problem. Last week it was too much amniotic fluid. This week it was high blood pressure. I have been fighting the high blood pressure since about 27 weeks but this time he finally added bp meds. 1-2% of women have an incompetent cervix. 7% of pregnant women develop gestational diabetes. Less than 10% develop hyper-tension (high bp). My list could go on and on. But, I seem to ALWAYS fall in the small percent of woman who are not "normal." At the end of the day it is okay because Ian is okay. But, it has made from some trying emotional times for me. I feel like my body is very, very bad at being pregnant. I feel bad that I am so bad at this!

Yesterday, I felt very normal. Yesterday was my baby shower. There were no strange percentages that I feel in. There were no new diagnosis'. There were no problems. There were just friends and family celebrating the life of my soon to be born son...and it was wonderful. It was almost surreal. Normal. Laughing, cake, punch, food, presents, pictures, a big pregnant belly...and it was all for Ian...and for mommy. It was such a fun time.


Michelle said...


Anonymous said...

What an AMAZING cake!! I'm glad you were able to do something normal. And even if the pregnancy is extra special in the ways, it's all worth it and once Ian is born all that won't matter!


Michele said...

Gorgeous cake!

I remember my BFF saying "find a list of pregnancy complications and check them off- by the end of your pregnancy, you'll have had them all..." she wasnt far off. IT sucks :( But, I'm so happy things that you are only 2 months out from your EDD- that is awesome!!!

Jill said...

Amazing cake!

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