my journey through the loss of my first son and the life of my second

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Happy Birthday!

Dearest Trent,
Mommy cried today as we sung you happy birthday. I know your party in heaven is much better than any I could have thrown you here...but I wish I had the chance :(. My heart hurt all day for you ... Of course that is nothing new my heart always hurts for you. I cant believe you are two. Tonight as we ate your birthday cake your daddy said your cake was "just what any two year old would want." what is heaven like? Do you play with other angel babies? Can you see us? Ian even tried your cake today! When I get to heaven I plan to hug and kiss you for a VERY long time ;). Be prepared ;). I wish so much I was watching you grow. I wish I knew what your favorite food was... I made dinner for us tonight and wanted so badly to be making your favorite meal. I wish I knew the things that made you giggle, the things that make you cry, I wish I knew what it felt like to rock you to sleep. I wish I knew what your little voice sounds like when you whisper 'mommy' ... Oh how I wish I could hear you say mommy. I miss you sweet boy. I miss having you with me. I know heaven is perfect and you are okay there. I just wish you were laying next to me tonight as I tell you a bedtime story. You have my heart sweet Trent.
Love forever,
Mommy

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