Before Thanksgiving I heard a song, or a sermon, or just someone's thought ...
"How can I ask for more?"
I have been rolling that question around in my head for weeks. I made a note of it in my cell phone. I flip to it daily. It says nothing more than that question.
God has given me so much.
How can I ask for more?
A few weeks before this question got stuck on my heart another question had been there too ...
Were we ready for another child?
From the time I was a little girl the only thing I wanted was to be a wife and mommy. I am both of those things. I fail daily at them. I try to be the best I can be. But, I am human. How can I ask for more?
After Trent died the thought of another child consumed my every waking minute. I NEEDED to hold another baby, MY baby. I needed it. I was not complete without it. After Ian was born Ken and I have said 100 times if he is the only living child God gives us to raise he is enough. But, then the question crept into my head....maybe one more?
But, I don't know? How can I ask for more? How can I ask for more than the love and joy that Ian brings me daily? How can I think I deserve another chance...a #3??
I asked Ken and he agreed he has been thinking we wanted one more. Still, how can I ask for more?
It seems unfair to ask for more than I have already been given. So, I didn't ask.
But, God answered anyway.
Weatherford baby #3 is due to join our little family in August!!!
Shock is the only word to describe it. I have known for a little over a week and still it feels strange!
I have thanked God a thousand times, and prayed for a spirit of peace this pregnancy, and more asked could I please bring this one home.
God is so good.
a magical moment
3 days ago